While I wouldn’t recommend doing this in a more emotional situation (you might get burned—literally), nothing this friend says is going to come as a shock, so it’s safe to have hot tools near your head. Turn the volume up and put the phone down (she won’t notice), then plug in your T3 medium- or large-barrel curling iron. Part your hair down the middle and separate it into sections. Hold the T3 upside down, so the thinnest part of the wand is directed toward the top of your head, and wrap your hair around it facing outward for a cool beachy wave. Once you’ve finished curling a section, it might be a good time to interject with “Oh my god, no!” or “That’s crazy!” so she knows you’re listening. Then, hold Sachajuan’s mist at arm’s length, spray over your hair, and scrunch upward from the bottom. This keeps the look natural and not too perfect. The more she blabs, the more you scrunch—it can only get beachier.

Yes, you can literally make up your whole face while you’re on the line talking diaper bags. Start with Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer as a base—you won’t want a super thick foundation when you’re holding the phone. Curl your lashes with a Utowa (this is a low-drama call, so you won’t be tempted to clamp down too hard), and coat them with Serge Lutens mascara. I find that when I’m on the phone is the best time to do my mascara, as it only requires one hand! Then, take a brown waterproof liner from Dior and move it back and forth across the upper and lower waterlines. You can also use it to darken a beauty mark if you have one, just for fun. If the eyeliner smears down at all, take the sponge on the end of the pencil and blend it back and forth for a cute, subtle smoky eye. Groom your brows with Dior Brow Styler, then use your finger to tap the Kjaer Weis cream blush onto the apples of your cheeks and blend for a pop of color. (You’ll probably want to be on speaker for this part.) If there’s any color left on your finger, dab it onto your lips.

Wedding planning can be stressful (that’s why I basically eloped in Italy), and this routine can distract just enough to calm you without totally ruining your flower-selecting focus. Cleanse your face with a nice oil like Tatcha’s before jumping on the call. Once you connect, break out your ZIIP device. You can use the peptide gel that comes with it or something else—I’ve tried it with Sisley Paris Black Rose Oil, with great results. Move the device across your face in circular motions—it has a timer and will vibrate when it’s time to go on to the next area. I like to move it more back and forth across the hollow of my cheekbones to up the circulation and get that glowy, chiseled look. You can either take off the oil with a wipe or just rub it in and add moisturizer right on top (I love to chase it with the cream from Caudalie). This routine is great for giving your skin some extra love when the weather is cold, plus you’ll be so focused on your face you’ll forget how worried you are about the seating charts.

No one likes being on hold, especially because you never know how long it might go on. So painting my nails is a one of my favorite ways to stay occupied while I’m sitting there and waiting. I like to put lotion on my hands first (La Mer’s is a favorite), then wipe down my nails with RGB pads to make sure there’s no oil or anything on them—you want to start with a clean slate to make sure it looks smooth and help the color stay on longer. I like a neutral shade like Jinsoon’s Nostalgia for a DIY mani because it’s so foolproof. I set the square protective lid down on a flat surface, then rest each finger on it as I paint to help keep a steady hand. The Jinsoon polish is my secret on-the-phone weapon because it’s so high gloss and quick drying that if I get through to someone sooner than expected, I don’t even need to do a topcoat—my nails are usually dry before I hang up.

A word of caution: I was once curling my lashes during what we could call an impassioned phone conversation. I don’t even remember why, but I was so furious I clamped down too hard with the curler, to the point my lashes got crisp! (For a terrifying moment, I thought they came off.) A safer alternative during a marital spat? Contouring your cleavage. Risk of injury is low to none, and you know that after fighting you’re eventually going to meet up to talk about it, so you might as well be ready. The technique uses the same principles as contouring your face, only for your décolletage. Start with a bronzer—Guerlain’s bronzing powder is perfect. Use the Utowa 22H angled brush to pick up the powder, and sweep it lightly across the breastbone, following the curve on each side—basically a lazy “C” shape. (Think of the Chanel logo if the C’s didn’t interlock.) Blend upward in a circular motion and prepare to accept his apology.

This mask is intended to set for 20 minutes to an hour, but the longer the better—so it’s perfect when you have a lot to catch up on. You’re supposed to shampoo beforehand, but if you get an unexpected call you can just wet hair with a spray, like Avène’s Eau Thermale, or a spritz bottle. Slather the mask all over your hair and clip your locks into a high bun, then cover it a shower cap. You can now talk to your heart’s content. As your friend is inundating you with juicy gossip, you’ll be inundating your hair with intense hydration. After saying your good-byes, hop into a hot shower and wash out the mask. The steam from the shower will help open hair follicles and add a big blast of extra moisture at the end—your hair will emerge silky soft and full of bounce.